My manager asks questions in a nasty way like, where have you been when it was snowing, i think she should ask it in more polite manner, telling me im thick because i dont understand things, says things on the quiet when no one else is around, tells me im a liar when i explained i got stuck in traffic when the police had blocked off the road. ive also been asked to cover reception for two weeks which ive finally completed today with no extra pay as i was meant to be doing my own work as well. He then told me i would be covering for three months too in february, i didnt think it was fair and should at least be covered by other members of staff as ive already done two weeks worth and hated every moment of it! ive looked in my contract however and it does say "you will undertake such duties as we consider reasonable and we may vary your duties for business reasons!" does that mean i dont have a leg to stand on and should just complete the three months and become some sort of mug. i would hand in my notice now but im stuck coz im doing a course til june which the company paid for last year and if i leave, i would have to pay them which i cant afford at the moment.
I said to the manager i wanted to put in a formal grievance and he said that i would have to back up my accusations and i said how can i when theyre all verbal communications. i also said to him that if he wasnt willing to listen to me (as ive been after this meeting all week) i would go to HR, he said if i did there would be serious consequences.
I dont know what to do as I want to leave but cant due to my college, i dont want to get the sack, and i have no back up for my "accusations" and i cant refuse work when it says things like that in my contract. I dont have a guilty conscience coz I know its the truth, its whether she'll tell the truth or not and admit she speaks to me in the wrong manner.
I have to make a decision over the weekend and see him on monday to tell him whether i make a formal grievance or not - what do you think? Ask me any more questions if you need too.
ive just re-read my question and would like to put something right, the manager who is giving me verbal abuse in my eyes is the "she" and the person who i spoke to today about it is the general manager whose a "he". Hope that makes sense

Of COURSE you go to HR that is why they are there to prevent stupid controlling managers and employees from taking advantage of others. Otherwise, you have no recourse! DOn't be silly... consider making a dated LOGG of these incidents with this person so you have something in writing that details when they occurred and what was said - THAT is something substantial that CAN & WILL make a difference here. Don't be bullied. This is sexual harrassment and not LEGAL at all!
You are allowing yourself to be wrongly treated in the work place and this person needs to either be set straight or FIRED in my opinion. You need to empower yourself or this could emotionally damage you for future employment as well. Seriously!

Ugh - what an awful spot to be in. My random thoughts:

- it can depend on the HR and the company. I've worked at large companies where they had a fairly good HR department. Even if someone went to them and registered complaints, they couldn't just dismiss it as, "It's your word against your manager's - we'll believe the manager". It wasn't like a court of law where you needed "proof". They would work out a plan, etc. Your complain wouldn't be simply dismissed.
- however, smaller companies may not be as well prepared. Only you can guess at that.
- you can't get sacked for registering a complaint - there are labour laws against that. Now it doesn't mean they won't do it to you - but you could file a labour complaint against them for doing it. Still won't help you if you're unemployed.
- researching a little about formal labour law where you are (country, state, etc) won't hurt if you lodge a complain. If they realize you know something of the law, it may make them take you more seriously.
- can you ask your fellow colleagues. If this guy is a d**k, I doubt it's just you that gets his attitude.

There is a lot that can be said about this subject, more than I care to type out right now. I agree with the ideas of the above two posters, with some exceptions or variations. NO! You do not and should not put up with abuse as you describe it.

Much of your position with HR will depend on your managers rapport with HR and his record with them. It also depends on whether the manager has already filed unsatisfactory reports about you to HR. I learned long ago that the person who gets in the first punches has the best chance of surviving.

KEEP YOU COOL. As mentioned above, start a log of what you feel to be violations of work ethics by your supervisor. If I were in your predicament, it may even come to my mind that today's technology has created some very small tape recorders that can be concealed and made available to tape conversations. Perhaps said tapes would not be admissible in court, but it may have the desired effects with the HR department.

Good luck. Remember to be a good employee. Be on time. Get your assigned duties completed. Be pleasant. Watch your back and keep notes.

Re the verbal harrassment - you need to write down dates and times of what was said
and that way you can present that to HR -However as you havent been keeping one it is hard to do retrospectfully as you need to be spot on with the facts , dates and times of when things were said

They are clearly is acting like a bully - so what you have a couple of options - ishut up and take it for 3 months or go to HR

Once you have decided

This weekend you have to write down when this started - just keep it simple and stick to the facts
write down what they have been saying to you - if you can remember dates / times - did anyone witness it - if you dont know the date or time DONT make it up . It will just make you look like a liar not to be taken seriously
Then on Monday you also have a couple of options if yo are really worried - you telephone in to work and advise you will be in later you dont give them any reason - then you call your HR dept and advise you need to have a meeting with them that morning if possible - tell them yo have contacted your dept saying you would be in later as you felt so stressed out about coming into work - you just tell them you will discuss it when you are there -
Would your mum or dad go with you to act as a witness for what was going to be said ? They cant contribute anything and would be there basically as a support for you

When you get there you advise them that you are extremely upset over a series of recent events that have occured in the workplace - Advise them that you feel you are being bullied / intimidated by one of their managers and as a result it is now starting to make you feel ill / worried etc and you cant face coming into work anymore (write this down so you dont forget and stick to the FACTS )
Say you want to get this sorted out as it cannot continue due to the detrimental effect it is having on you , it is not an option leaving as it will impact on your college place

Advise them that you have arranged an appointment to go and see your doctor as it is causing you mental stress , that you are unable to sleep as you worry about coming into work

Then advise that you have sought advice about this situation as you were told by him if you did go to HR there would be serious consequences his words not yours . You were advised by the people you spoke to that you were to keep a diary documenting date / time of when the incidents happened . If you can remember incidents last week also date / time note these down but dont guess as you have to absolutely spot on

Yes the manager can deny they said things however it would make no sense for you to make this up

Advise that you are very worried as you cannot afford to lose this job

I wouldnt focus on the reception duties too much - it is right they have the right to vary your duties however if previously it has been shared amongst other members of staff and now you have been told it is just you to do it - say you feel it is a bit unfair

See what is written below and have a look at that site


What is bullying at work?

Bullying at work is when someone tries to intimidate another worker, often in front of colleagues. It is usually, though not always, done to someone in a less senior position. It is similar to harassment, which is where someone's behaviour is offensive. For example, making sexual comments, or abusing someone's race, religion or sexual orientation.

You cannot make a legal claim directly about bullying, but complaints can be made under laws covering discrimination and harassment. If you are forced to resign due to bullying you can make a constructive dismissal claim.

* Constructive dismissal

Examples of bullying behaviour

Bullying includes abuse, physical or verbal violence, humiliation and undermining someone's confidence. You are probably being bullied if, for example, you are:

* constantly picked on
* humiliated in front of colleagues
* regularly unfairly treated
* physically or verbally abused
* blamed for problems caused by others
* always given too much to do, so that you regularly fail in your work
* regularly threatened with the sack
* unfairly passed over for promotion or denied training opportunities

Bullying can be face-to-face, in writing, over the phone or by fax or email.
Before taking action

If you think you are being bullied, it is best to talk it over with someone. Sometimes what seems like bullying might not be.

For example, you might have more work to do because of a change in the way your organisation is run. If you find it difficult to cope, talk to your manager or supervisor, who might be as concerned as you are. Sometimes all it takes is a change in the way you work to give you time to adjust.
What to do if you are bullied at work

Employers have a 'duty of care' to their employees and this includes dealing with bullying at work. There are measures you can take if you are b