I want to quit my job because it is making my life miserable, but we are

Jenice C · #1 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 12:08 AM

in a recession. Please advise.? have been working at a small law firm for about 1 1/2 years. I sit at the front desk and also support the senior partner who is a real jerk. He does nothing but criticizes me..i try so hard and i try to ask him to teach me certain things but he just belittles me and makes fun of me. I went to school for legal assistant and this is my first legal job out of school. I understand that people have to stay late sometimes but if i have something important to do like pay my rent b/c the landlord is coming at 7pm, he says your personal PROBLEMS are not my problem...its an obligation and something that needs to get done, not a problem. he always accuses me of things i didnt do like misplace things when HE did. i never get a compliment from him and he talks down to me in front of everyone else in the office. this job is affecting my health and my relationships outside of work, including with my parents and fiance. they said i have changed and i am always miserable. the only thing is we are in a recession right now and i can't just quit. i have been trying to get interviews but it is very hard. does anyone have any suggestion on what i can do. this job is killing me slowly and ruining my life. when the market was really bad, he told me i was going to be laid off, he would keep telling me every day that is was my last day and i am still here n ow. i did nt know what to expect so i stopped paying my credit cards and some other bills to save and put away for rent...now i am in default with all of my bills and they have been sent off to collection agencies and now i am going bankrupt. this job literally ruined my life...does anyone have any suggestions how i can straighten this whole mess out...i am suicidal at this point.

Detroit KD · #2 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 12:08 AM

First, don't do anything rash. In hindsight, things are never as bad as they seem right now. I don't see a lot of hope for getting your boss to behave better - most jerks don't care that they're jerks.

My advice it to keep looking for a job, but broaden your search beyond just legal assistant, even if legal assistant is your long term career goal. Hopefully you can land a job and get away from your boss, at which point you can keep looking for the right job without going completely nuts.

And make sure you talk to your creditors - they won't go away, and working out some sort of payment plan should keep them off your back at least a little.

Good Luck.

Adah Callaway · #3 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 12:08 AM

First things first Jenice, suicide is NOT the answer. You still have a fiance, and a family - even if things with them are not going particularly well right now. So keep that thought out of your head - nothing good would come from killing yourself and some people believe it'll be much worse on the other side.

Now, aside from that the other advice you've gotten so far is appropriate. You may just have to look for other jobs outside of what you've been trained to do. I know it's tough, and you may have to settle for a little less pay but personally I've never been able to work in environments like the one you've described. I had a job up in Trenton before that was very damaging to be emotionally due to my relationships with co-workers and even the boss. I left for another job where I've had a bit of a paycut but it was worth it to be in a better environment. i wish you the best in whatever you do. And this article, by the way, may be of some help to you.

Reverend G · #4 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 12:09 AM

Obviously this cannot go on forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Money troubles can seem over whelming at times; but they are not the true measure of "quality of life". Quality of life is how you need to measure your success. You're fresh out of college, you apparently have a loving family and fiance. It's unfortunate your first step into life landed you here...but it is only your first step. I've worked in places that employed slobs and slackers that the boss would do nothing about. The boss would say things like, "times aren't what they used to be, you can't just fire someone anymore." I suggest just staying true to yourself and letting the bosses criticism roll off your back. You can't live the rest of your life in fear; with the boss hanging your job over your head. If you end up on the chopping block just know that something better is just around the corner..

Dud · #5 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 12:32 AM

As far as the credit cards and dept, talk to your creditors and start paying them down starting with the one with the highest interest first, paying as much as you can. Pay the minimum on all other cards until the first one is paid off then take the same amount you were paying on the first card and add it to the next one along with the minimum. Once you are out of dept get rid of all of your cards except the two that have the best interest rate and highest credit limit and only use them if you have the money saved to pay the purchase off within three months. You’ll be out of dept sooner than you think. After that, you should work on how much you have saved in checking and savings, about two months worth of paychecks in your checking and three to six months worth of paychecks in savings. For example if you make $4000 a month you would ideally have 8 grand in checking and 12 grand or more in savings. It’s not easy but if you ever get into this type of situation again you’ll be able to tell you boss “Take this job and shove it”. The job situation is pretty simple quit and find work wherever you can to make ends meet. Work more than one job if you have to, move to a cheaper living situation, and look for craigslist ads for roommates. If all else fails you can join the military, it’s not easy but they have legal assistance jobs that will give you real experience and a steady paycheck that is recession proof( shameless Army plug, sorry). My parents worked two sometimes three jobs to pay for my mother’s nursing school until they had saved the money they needed. If you can find a couple of jobs that pay you enough to support a frugal lifestyle instead of staying in your current situation you may find yourself in a much happier place. Good luck.

Boongey · #6 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009, 01:34 AM

a job is no real reason to be suicidal. please don't take it so serious. focus on the good things in your life....family & fiance...try & find a new job. but don't quit until you find the next one....believe me i know how you feel & fam & friends are really the only good things that will get you through this. hang in there! talk to a cousnsler or fam if it's really that bad..

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