Ok I want to call in to work today I start at Noon (it's not 9:10am) I something that will sound legit last time I did this (over a year ago at my last job) I really screwed up on the phone call, so please give me some Dialogue or advice.

Call in and say you're not coming in today. You're an adult and are allowed to take sick time. Trying to sound sick on the phone is just going to backfire!